Posterior Digest: April Edition

06 May, 2021

Our big personal news is that we’re vaxxed and waxed! Meanwhile, the AP is abuzz with poo-related headlines as always.

At the end of each month, TUSHY drops a load of the hottest news about butts. Yes, we’re re-crapping all of April’s best news scoops about poops.

Newsweek: Climate Activists Dump Cow Poop Outside White House to Protest Joe Biden's Plan

Cow excrement isn’t just manure. It’s a message!

On Earth Day, an activist group called Extinction Rebellion took to the streets outside the White House to declare that Biden’s climate change plan is, well, crappy. 

Extinction Rebellion uses nonviolent civil disobedience to pressure the government towards action on climate change. Said the group on Twitter: "Biden's 2030 emissions plan is bulls***—we'll blast through 1.5C.” 

Biden rejoined the Paris Climate Agreement, which aims to limit global warming to 1.5°C above pre-industrial levels, but the activist group says this target won’t happen with Biden’s current plan. They are calling on the president to declare a climate emergency, and cut the crap! 

Wheelbarrows of poop weren’t how we celebrated Earth Day, but we aren’t mad. 

People: Kelly Clarkson Reveals She Once 'Destroyed' a Trash Can While Pooping Backstage: 'It Was Bad'

Kelly Clarkson dropped a huuuuuuuge, um, story on us during an interview on her daytime talk show. 

In the words of the songstress: "There was one time... it wasn't pee, my friend.” 👀 

Said our Since U Been Gone queen: “I got some kind of wrecked up from some kind of food and I literally, we were in an arena — I shouldn't tell this story but like I said, I don't have a filter…” Our only objection so far is, you should definitely always tell the poop story. Continue, Kelly.

"I had to run backstage to my quick change," she said. "I grabbed this poor trash can and boy I destroyed it. It was bad. It was bad... And we might have to edit this out but I'm just saying. It happens! What are you supposed to do?"

Sh*t happens, babe! Thanks for being honest. RIP that trashcan!

New York Post: Cat poop coffee taste test will turn your stomach

Our poop-loving friends at the New York Post capitalized on dookie coffee this month. 

Yes, apparently the most expensive coffee in the world is … cat sh*t coffee. Meow! 

Kopi Luwak Coffee feeds beans to cats, the cats digest the coffee and poop it out. The beans are then cleaned and brewed. All for the price of $10 to $15 per cup. Off the bat, gotta say we’re not gonna spend $15 to drink something that was inside a cat. 

Thankfully, New York Post did us a solid and gathered taste testers to try the brew on camera. What was their verdict?

Apparently it smells like coffee, and it tastes like watered down coffee. “It’s not bad,” said one taster. “It tastes like a weak, sad coffee,” said another. “Delicious… viscosity is thick… I’m into it,” said a guy who vibes a little too hard on cat poo coffee.

One taster summed up the overall vibe: “Tastes like normal coffee to me. Don’t know what the cat was eating that day, but it looks like it’s ok.”

But would they buy it? Of the 10 or so people who sampled, 0% of participants wanted to drop $15 on a cup of cat coffee. In these divided times, it’s nice to have something we all agree on!

Wrapping Up

Ahhh we always feel better after dropping a fat load... of poop news! 

You’ve just enjoyed April’s sh*ttiest headlines. Tune in next month to stay current on the freshest scat stories as retold by TUSHY. And if you’re perusing this post on your throne, consider making yourself comfy with a TUSHY Ottoman.

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