Okay yes, we skipped this chapter in the TUSHY user manual. But we are acutely aware of the recreational benefits of using a bidet. Possessing a vulva and running short on batteries is a feral recipe for creative masturbation. Just about any pressurized household device can become a homemade buzz buddy. A bidet, with its unflinching jet of water, is no exception.
But before you lock the bathroom door and lay down a towel, there are a few anatomical, hygiene, and safety guidelines to cover. First, let’s talk why using a bidet for pleasure even works.
Why Do Bidets Feel Good?
If you have a vulva, you probably use a bidet to clean more than just your butt. As you should! Bidets are amazing for washing away sweat, period blood, and the bacteria that causes sexual parting gifts like UTIs.
While you arch like a cat to get all your angles clean, you may feel a little tingle in your sensitive areas. This external stimulation is a result of the massaging effect of the bidet’s stream of water, which activates nerve endings and encourages blood flow to your clitorus.
Unlike sloppy tub taps and bulky showerheads, bidets have mathematical precision and toe-curling pressure on their side. So in addition to cleaning your booty two times better, saving money on TP, and reducing the number of trees you flush, bidets can also make you come.
Pros and Cons of Using a Bidet For Pleasure
PROS OF GETTING JIGGY WITH A BIDET:
- Zero risk of falling off a bucking washing machine.
- Wide range of pressure to experiment with sensation. (Vs the morse code edging of your vibrator)
- Hyper targeted point of impact.
- Ability to hit other erogenous zones that can be hard to reach with a hand or toy, like your perineum (taint) and anus.
- No need to fully undress or sacrifice an electric toothbrush head to the cause.
- No questions as to why you were in the bathroom for a few extra minutes.
CONS OF USING A BIDET FOR PLEASURE:
- Chance of injecting water inside your vagina, which impacts your natural pH.
- Risk of irritants and infection. Especially if using a bidet/toilet that has not been properly cleaned OR flowing water back-to-front.
- Risk of burns if you use a temperature-controlled bidet improperly.
- Possible desensitization if you go full pressure for extended periods of time.
- You become more bidet dependent, if that was even possible.
How To Use a Bidet For Pleasure
Here are our top tips for staying in the pleasure zone, safely, while sitting on your bidet.
Disinfect Your Toilet and Clean Your Bidet
Not the hottest foreplay, but you are getting off in a bacteria hot zone. Before you use a bidet for pleasure, disinfect your toilet, clean your bidet nozzle (ours has a self-clean function you can run), and wipe down your bidet with a damp cloth.
Avoid using harsh chemicals on the nozzle, as you don’t want to introduce irritants to your sensitive parts.
Keep Business Separate From Pleasure
Transitioning from washing your butt to masturbating is a little like wiping back to front. This motion increases your risk of spreading bacteria where it doesn’t belong, like inside your delicate urethra. So remember when using a bidet for pleasure to always maintain a front-to-back water flow.
Use a Mouth-safe Water Temperature
The sensitive tissue that makes up your vulva is similar to the skin inside your mouth. If you have a temperature-controlled bidet, ensure the water is warm, not hot, to avoid painful burns. Do a hand test on the water if you’re not sure.
Experiment with Angles and Pressure
Depending on your bidet type (handheld sprayer vs attachment) and sensory target (clitoral vs anal), you may need to sit backwards on your bidet. If you have longer labia, you might need to part them more overtly to expose your sensitive bits to the water stream.
Everyone’s anatomy and sexual response to pressure is different, so don’t be discouraged if it takes you a hot minute to get there.
Invite Your Free Hand!
Once you get in prim-O position, slide a finger or two inside your vagina or anus to increase pressure internally while you stimulate your clitorus externally. Take care not to cross-contaminate between your booty and vag.
PSA: Do Not Fire-hose Your Vag
The vagina does not want to be douched with anything. As a self-cleaning organ, even clean water (pH of 7) has the potential to mess with your acidic vaginal flora (pH of 4) and cause an imbalance, leading to a bacterial infection.
Do not place the bidet nozzle inside you or jet water up into your vagina. If you can, try peeing after you masturbate with your bidet to force out any foreign bacteria that may have entered through your urethra.
Using a Bidet To Improve Your Sex LIfe
Using a bidet for pleasure doesn’t have to be a solo mission! Bidets are excellent hygiene tools when prepping your genitals before sex as well as rinsing off after to wash away secretions that could cause infection.
Fun Fact: Western culture is historically bidet-averse because bidets were associated with brothels. Those progressive sex workers were cleaning up before and after the deed, and so can you!
Prepping For Anal Sex
Using a bidet is one way to get your head and butt in the game for some glorious assplay. Here are a few etiquette tips before you open your backdoor for business.
- Secure consent that isn’t frantic booty gesturing while having sex. Talk to your partner about your desires as well as any concerns.
- Experiment on yourself first! Not only does it demystify butt stuff, it helps you discover what you’re into.
- Consider adding a bidet to your anal prep routine. In addition to keeping lube, condoms, and toys by the bed, you can quickly spray yourself clean before sex and rinse off without any added friction after.
Cleaning Up Before and After Sex
The hottest sex of your life can quickly turn into a HAZMAT situation after the hormones pass. Here’s how to clean up before and after having sex to keep your downstairs healthy.
- Wash before sex to spray away excess bacteria around the bum.
- Pee after sex and spray yourself down with your bidet to blast away bacteria and any lingering lube.
- Avoid any harsh or fragranced soaps, given your body is already dealing with a pH interference.
- Spray front to back if you have a vagina to avoid spreading bacteria where it doesn’t belong.
- Hydrate after you fornicate to help flush out bacteria from your urinary tract.
Frequently Asked Questions
Should a bidet be your primary sex toy?
Everything in moderation, right? Routinely exposing your genitals to high-pressure water can upset your natural vaginal bacteria. It’s also a good idea to mix up the pressure of your stimulation through various friction sources (water, toys, hand) to maintain sensitivity.
Which type of bidet should I use for pleasure?
Any bidet can get you there, but we recommend a bidet with a separate massaging front wash or a warm-water bidet attachment for max comfort, pressure control, and angle opportunity. Handheld bidet hoses are more basic but still functional!