We’d all rather take a dump in a pristine, lockable bathroom far away from any signs of human life. But sometimes you gotta blow mud at Walmart. While you may never be the person who can cut a rope while holding a broken bathroom door shut (life goals), you will be able to unclench and squeeze out some discomfort after reading these tips for pooping in public.

Why Are You Uncomfy Pooping in Public?

Let’s affirm the triggers of pooping away from home in the name of exposure therapy:

• Unhygienic toilets
• People waiting
• Huge (borderline unethical?) gaps in the cubicle doors
• Finding yourself pudding-assed with NO TP
• The risk of clogging a toilet with no plunger lifeline
• The pressure of pooping fast when you’re constipated
• Big sounds
• Bigger smells

Now let’s acknowledge that every single pooping human is fighting this battle. Some folks are so paralyzed by public pooping that it becomes pathological. People afflicted with Parcopresis (the official term for a shy bowel) are so nerve-riddled over their away-from-home poos that it impacts their life––with impacted bowels. They avoid public places and hold their poops too long, which can cause hemorrhoids or anal fissures.

So what’s a shy pooper to do? After reading these tips on how to poop in public, you’ll be able to calm your nervous system and relax your bowels into submission.

How To Poop in Public Restrooms

If you’re afflicted by public pooping nerves, no problem! Here are some quick tips to help make public pooping a pleasure:

1. Add a Soundtrack

White noise doesn’t just mask the sounds of your fart box. It also calms an active mind to settle racing thoughts. Turn on the faucet or a fan if you’re in someone’s house. If you’re in a public stall, pop in some earbuds and listen to a murder podcast to create some distance between your brain and butt

2. Prevent The Plop

If you’re embarrassed of the poo plopping sound, line the bowl with toilet paper. This soft landing lessens the sound of your toilet bomb while also reducing splash back. Little victories!

3. Squelch The Smell

Eliminate odor with a travel-friendly toilet freshener. If you don’t want to carry liquid or sprays, you can always use a match. Courtesy flushing as soon as the poop drops will also prevent the poop smell from traveling. Now, who does #2 work for? You, baby!

4. Know Your Schedule

Our bodies are creatures of habit. For example, if we down a double espresso, it won’t be long before we, erm, drop some potatoes in the crock pot. Having a good sense of the restroom options available to you around your pooping time is a favor to yourself. On a normal day, you can pretty much avoid leaving yourself stranded without even a Starbucks avail.

5. Improve Your Head Space

Remember that everyone poops. If you’re chopping a log at your friend’s home, well, they do the same thing. The other people at your gym? They poop. Presidents and kings and even The Pope all bomb the bowl. As long as you do your best to be a good citizen of the public bathroom, there’s nothing to be embarrassed of.

6. Travel With a Portable Bidet

Talk about traveling with flair! A TUSHY Travel portable bidet will eliminate any “is there toilet paper” and “I hate pooping without a bidet” drama. This portable bidet directs a concentrated stream of water at your chocolate starfish, helping to keep your keister clean on the go.

7. Seek Out a Quieter Bathroom

Talk about traveling with flair! A TUSHY Travel will eliminate any “is there toilet paper” and “I hate pooping without a bidet” drama. This portable bidet directs a concentrated stream of water at your chocolate starfish, helping to keep your keister clean on the go. 

8. Remember: Holding it in HURTS

Holding in your poop on occasion is necessary. (Please don’t sh*t yourself on the ferris wheel.) But regularly resisting the urge to defecate can lead to constipation, impaction, and inflammation. Holding in a BM can also damage your body’s natural impulse to poop, which can result in fecal incontinence. Know what’s a lot easier than all of that? Stinking up a gas station. 

Go Forth And Poop In Peace

We hope these tips and tricks will help you lay bricks in public like a pro. And if you want the cleaning power of TUSHY to join you on your journey, be sure to bring a TUSHY Travel. 

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I manage my pooping anxiety?

It’s a brain and butt game. By accepting that everyone battles with pooping in public and controlling what you can (white noise, smell, wearing earbuds, buffering the bowl with TP), you can make your public poops more palatable.
 

Why do I have poop anxiety while traveling?

Any disruption to your routine affects your gut. Drinking less water, different water, messing up your sleep schedule, and eating different foods will all affect the timing and quality of your poops on vacay.