We’ve talked at length about the ways humankind has cleaned our booties in the past. When wiping our asses with leaves and rocks proved unsanitary and well… probably super painful, we upgraded our lifestyles and have continued to do so since. However, some of us seem to have plateaued with toilet paper. With most developed countries, like the UK, South Korea, Japan, Egypt, Greece, Italy, Spain, France, Portugal, (deep breath) Turkey, Argentina, Brazil, Uruguay, Venezuela, Lebanon, India, and Pakistan using bidets, the world has obviously since evolved to more sophisticated and effective methods of post-poo cleaning.

But doesn’t it seem like one major heavy hitter is missing from that list? Why aren’t Americans using bidets? Granted, recently, it seems we’ve been moving backward in our development and status as a global leader due to the other steaming pile of shit we’ve created. But that doesn’t excuse the lack of information and utilization of bidets. Considering the health and sustainability benefits of bidet use, why has it taken so long for the US market to embrace cleaner butts? We have an answer:

Big Toilet Paper.

Within the $30 billion toilet paper industry, the largest marketers, Charmin (P&G), Quilted Northern (Georgia Pacific) and Cottonelle (Kimberly-Clarke), account for more than 75% of the toilet paper market. These brands promote one major selling point thing… “Oooh look at us, we’re soooo soft.” In advertisements, we’re literally shown a family of cartoon bears essentially molesting a package of toilet paper and we’re made to believe… “Oh, yea… that’s going to clean my ass real well.”  Softness isn’t the first thing you should be thinking about when removing the most concentrated source of filth, illness-causing bacteria, and sin there is. If someone shat on your floor… would you wipe it with toilet paper? No, you’d probably don a hazmat suit, dump 5 quarts of bleach on it, and then set your whole house on fire. And rightfully so. Shit, crap, poop, booboo, whatever you choose to call it, it is unsanitary and dangerous. The health risks of using toilet paper are exponential. Wiping with toilet paper leaves us stewing in our own caca. That skid mark that we’re collectively sitting on because we didn’t clean properly could lead to some real problems. There are an estimated 23 million annual cases of hemorrhoids and 8 million cases of UTIs all perpetuated by toilet paper use.

And that’s just from inefficiency! Toilet paper, itself, is a health risk! The pulp and paper industry uses chlorine dioxide to bleach all of their products. This process leads to the creation of cancer-causing chemicals. Low-level exposure to dioxins has been linked to hormone alterations, immune system impairments, reduced fertility, birth defects and other reproductive problems. Now you’re probably saying, (southern accent) “I’ve been using toilet paper my whole life. My daddy used toilet paper, my daddy’s daddy used toilet paper, hell my daddy’s daddy’s daddy’s daddy used toilet paper. We’re toilet paper people through and through.”

Fine, but that shit is NOT sustainable.

According to the National Resource Defense Council, Americans use close to 8 million tons of toilet paper every year and forests are being destroyed to keep up with this demand.  Let’s consider the numbers for a moment… Approximately 810 rolls of toilet paper can be produced from an average single tree. A single person uses at least 57 sheets of toilet paper per day and 100 rolls of toilet paper a year. It’s been estimated that it would take about 384 trees to wipe the ass of one man within his lifetime. That’s an entire ecosystem being shoved into your ass crack, dabbed around a bit, and then flushed away. The pulp and paper industry may contribute to more global and local environmental problems than any other industry in the world, aside from the Trump administration of course.

If every US household removed even one roll of virgin fiber toilet paper from their routine, 423,900 trees would be saved. Now imagine the vast environmental impact if every household had a bidet. Companies like TUSHY are working tirelessly to change the way the average American thinks about cleaning their butts by offering affordable alternatives like a bidet attachment. It’s honestly as simple as clipping it onto your toilet.

It’s time for Americans to learn how to start properly cleaning up our own shit. Start with the 5 Day #noTP challenge. It’s not too late to start! For 5 full days, instead of wiping with toilet paper after you poop, wash with TUSHY. We promise you won’t go back.