Your odds are much better than winning the lottery.

1. Everyone Loves Free Shit!

Leaving behind a beauty product brand can feel like a hard break-up. That’s why we here at TUSHY want to make it easier for you by setting you up on a date with some new (eco-friendly) brands with our Sustainability Basket Giveaway. Try the Raw Elements’ Plastic Free Pack. This pack comes with their Eco Formula Lotion Tin and Tinted Face Moisturizer that comes in a reusable and recyclable tin. All of the skincare but without the wasted plastic. Also, try Meow Meow Tweet’s deodorant stick made of plant oils and mineral powders in a convenient push-up biodegradable paper tube. Meow Meow Tweet’s Avocado Shampoo Bar, made with avocado oil and aloe vera, will condition and soften your beautiful locks, while the rosemary and hops flowers promote shiny hair and scalp health. This shampoo bar can also be used all over your body! Because there’s no bottle, there’s no waste! TUSHY also wants to hook you up with some free shit! When you buy a TUSHY Noir Classic or Spa, you’ll automatically get 2 free rolls of Bamboo TP!!

2. Booty Call

The cell phone: Man’s New Best Friend (sorry pups). We literally can’t go anywhere without our phones these days. I mean, there are posts to be liked and Tinders to be swiped, so of course your phone is coming with you EVERYWHERE...even to the bathroom. Don’t be ashamed. We all do it. It’s the perfect form of entertainment for those long poops. I’ve watched an entire season of Narcos on my phone while sitting on a toilet. Great show. Even better poop. That’s why, according to LiveScience, your phone has 10 times more bacteria than a toilet seat (dry heave).  Here are some helpful tips on how to keep your phone from becoming a weapon of biological warfare.

3. Full Moon

National Moon Day is today, Thursday, July 20th! Now before you freaks start pulling your pants down and flashing everybody that badonk, National Moon Day is to commemorate the day man first walked on the moon. In 1969, Apollo 11 brought the first humans, Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin, to the big ‘ole cheese wheel in the sky. You may remember the movie Apollo 13 starring Tom Hanks and Kevin Bacon. Yeah, that’s not this. This Apollo mission not only made a huge scientific breakthrough, but also put the U.S. ahead of the U.S.S.R. in the global space race. Because of this, a New Mexico State University anthropology professor is proposing the Apollo 11 landing site at Tranquility Base should be named a National Historic landmark. That seems like a pretty awesome thing to celebrate… unless, of course, you’re one of those Moon Landing truthers.