Tales From The Backside Vol. 3

Corin Wells | 29 Oct, 2019

Tales From The Backside Vol. 3

These stories will make you scream... and maybe shit yourself.

Ghosts and ghouls and demons and devils are scary... but there isn't much scarier than shitting yourself in public. These real horrifying stories were submitted by real brave pooping humans. I present, Tales From The Backside. 

Submitted by Anonymous

When I was 19, I went back home to small-town midwest on college break. It was a late night, and I had been chatting it up with a boyfriend on the phone for several hours - walking around a public park - when I realized I desperately needed to pee and was so far away from home. I was not going to make it.

The park was under renovation and there was a portapotty sitting right there - I was in luck! But it was very very dark. Because this incident occurred before cell phones had flashlights on them (or even cameras), I did my best to navigate into the portapotty, pull down my pants and get ready to go. When I squatted, I tried to hover close over the seat (I did not want to make a mess) and I felt splat - my bum got COVERED in someone elses' shit that they had piled up on the seat!!! I immediately pulled up my pants and ran to my car. I can still remember sobbing as I drove home, threw my pants and underpants in a garbage bag and took the hottest shower of my life, then another bath.

To this day, I have a serious aversion to all portapotties and would NEVER think about using one at night.


Submitted by Anonymous

I have Crohn's disease so pooping myself has definitely happened more than once. One time, in particular, I was hanging out at my friend's condo and one of her friends (a guy who I was newly seeing at the time) decided to swing by and hang out with us! He brought over some cheap white wine (wine is a big no-no for me... but I hadn't had it in a while and decided to give it a go). After a few glasses, we decided to pop out for some food. My stomach was already turning and I knew it was bad news. Let's just say these weren't close enough friends to have poop talks with aka friends you don't need in your life, so I kept what was going on to myself. The bathroom sitch became more and more urgent and I needed to make a move. We happened to be passing the mall and I literally bolted in and ran away from them as soon as I could - saying I'd meet them at the restaurant and giving them no chance to respond. There I was... wandering around a massive mall I wasn't super familiar with, drunk and sh**ing my pants at the same time. I was horrified. Finally made it to the bathroom, tossed those undies in the trash, put those jeans back on and off shopping I went. First stop Victoria's secret, second stop H&M. I finally met my friends back at the condo with a whole new outfit. New jeans, a new sweater, and new underwear!! My excuse, I was drunk and decided I wanted to go shopping - to this day they still have NO idea what happened!!


Submitted by Dennis

Not a tragedy that happened to me, but I saw it happen: Years ago, boys camp on a lake in Maine. Counselors dug a latrine just up from the shore of our lake. Postholes on both sides held “Y” shaped branches with a straight log to sit on so you could poop into the quite large and square hole. There was zero privacy! Two could poop at once, multiple males could pee into the hole/latrine at one time.
One afternoon, swim time for the whole camp of 70 boys and 10 counselors! Mr. Lindbergh was a big guy, taught hiking and woodcraft, but needed to relieve himself, and proceeded to drop his trunks and lean onto the log. Modesty was not an issue with a camp full of boys! Ten seconds later we heard the loud “CRACK”, the log broke sending it into the 5-foot deep latrine along with the terribly unprepared and mostly naked counselor! It drew an immediate crowd, the poor man was covered in everything you could imagine in the bottom of a two-week old “glory-hole.”

It took several minutes to get other adults to haul him out, no one wanted to touch him, and he couldn’t get out by himself! Once out, he ran to the shore, jumped into the lake and waited until his wife brought some good old Fels-Naptha soap and clean shorts! Needless to say, swimming was suspended for a few days until a storm washed the evidence away! “That” latrine was filled in with the dirt from a new one close by that did not allow for “seated eliminating!”


Submitted by Anonymous

A condom was lost a night before. Just figured it'd fallen somewhere and eventually it would turn up. I went to party the next night at a friend's of friend's house... went to use the bathroom and there it appears...with my poop! At first I was surprised... How is it I didn't feel it up there?? But good, at least now I've passed it. I go to flush... And the toilet doesn't flush!! The horror!! What am I supposed to do now?!?! I certainly couldn't go ask for help!! Not only was poop waiting to be flushed... There was a condom floating around with it!! Finally, I found a bucket or basin of sorts to fill with water from the shower and flushed it all down!!

The end. 😁


Submitted by Jordan

Sometimes rushing around is part of life. Sometimes you hear the honk of a horn and it's time to run. Sometimes you have to leave a bookmark. Bookmarks save underwear. Bookmarks are a gentle reminder. When they are found dangling out of a plant leg they usually look like a work a day hanky. We were lying down and we were loving ourselves and each other, basking in an afterglow of a good day. maybe too much. Things got steamy. My partner reached to grab my cheeks and alas what was found? That dang bookmark!


Submitted by Anonymous

So, I had a procedure that made it painful to urinate. Really painful. Like screaming and banging on the walls painful. One night it was the worst my friend April was staying over. I had made dinner and we were planning on watching a movie. But I had to urinate, or try to urinate every 5 minutes.
Every time I returned from the bathroom April was 10 shades of white. She said hearing me scream and bang on the walls was making her upset. Well, about three hours in while I was attempting to pee, April starts banging on my bathroom door. “One second”, I tell her. When I leave the bathroom she runs in with her pants down. Our side of the bathroom I smell poop...I look down, and I see that April’s nerves were as bad as her stomach, and she had the runs, across my floor and straight into the bathroom. What was messed up was, in my pain, I still had to clean up her poo trail!

Every poop horror story can have a happy ending with TUSHY!

Uplevel your hole bathroom experience.


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