Posterior Digest: A November Re-crap
07 Dec, 2020
We’ve just rounded the corner on Thanksgiving. The holiday voted “most likely to make you poop double” is behind us. What else do November and #2 have in common? Well believe it or not, each passing month brings a hot batch of news about poop.
In October, we kicked off a monthly round up of poop-related sh*t that happened in the past month. Now, we’re back with all the popping poo news that’s fit to print!
United Nations: It’s World Toilet Day 2020!
What could be better than World Toilet Day! The annual celebration draws attention to sanitation issues world-wide. Currently, about 4.2 billion people lack access to safely managed sanitation. The United Nations is working to tackle this sanitation crisis by getting clean water and sanitation to everyone by 2030. This goal is threatened by climate change, since drought, floods and rising sea levels challenge our infrastructure -- from septic tanks to treatment plants. If you want an uplifting look at what the UN is doing to overcome these challenges and meet their goal, click on over!
Johnny Depp alleged that his ex-wife and leading lady literally sh*t the bed. A British judge has ruled that the infamous poo was probably from a pet. Perhaps now we can also dispose of the unfortunate nickname arising from this incident: “Amber Turd.”
New York Post: A High Tech Toilet That Will Blow Your Mind
To quote the Post, this is “evo-loo-tion” at its best! A Spanish company has made a self-cleaning toilet that may put an end to flushing all together. The way the device works is dishwasher-esque. The bowl retracts behind a wall before self-cleaning, drying and disinfecting. As a bonus: this process only requires two liters of water, about a third of what the average toilet uses per flush. Now that’s a smart throne!
You know how we recoil at the smell of manure? Apparently this isn’t a biological impulse, but a learned one. This research-driven essay takes us through the history of our culture’s relationship with poop, especially animal manure. The truth is that agriculture, and so our way of life, relies on animal waste and has for millenia. The Quechua peoples, for example, mined guano reserves for more than 1500 years. Learn more about the smells and science of poop, this is a long-read for you.
Not so deep in the annals of TikTok, there’s a surprising claim: “Wait till girls girls find out that guys get bonners [sic] when they poop.” Wait, what? Thankfully, Buzzfeed already got to the bottom of this. The answer? It’s not the standard, but it’s not impossible. Says their consulting Dr. Jennifer Berman, "It could be caused by increased pelvic floor contraction during vasalva, which means the guy contracts his pelvic floor or kegel muscles that could cause an erection... it's not typical for erections to happen spontaneously during defacation." So now we know! Thanks TikTok :)
The Kenya Star: Tana River prisoner escapes after attacking cop with poop
A prisoner made a Shawshank-esque escape in Kenya this month. The detainee asked to use the bathroom, which was outside the station. The poop took a little longer than expected, so the accompanying officer asked what was taking so long. At that time, the prisoner burst forward and smeared poop on the policeman’s face. Though the policeman whistled for help, the detainee was able to escape over a fence. This is an elite evacuation!
Can you believe this is just one month’s worth of breaking sh*tty stories? Come back next month to stay current on the hottest poo news from TUSHY. And if you’re reading this on the John, consider making yourself comfortable with a TUSHY Ottoman.