My Shit or Yours: A Couples Guide to Co-Habitation
18 Sep, 2017
Cuffing season has officially begun and single people everywhere are scrambling and casting wide nets to find their proverbial fish for the last quarter of the year. Trying to avoid going into hibernation alone, the relationship-less are swiping right on anyone and anything that omits CO2 hoping to find someone that will keep SAD at bay. You remember those days and you’re so glad that’s not you this year. You are officially cuffed. He’s met the parents and they approve. Your friends like her more than they like you. They are your person and you know they feel the same because… they asked you to move in with them.
While you reconcile your mixed feelings of joy, confusion and sheer horror at the thought of sharing your sacred space and bringing your precious succulents into a mixed family home, we’ll offer you a few useful tips to make the transition beneficial and keep you together. (fingers-crossed)
The bathroom. The gauntlet where many relationships have succumb to the pressures of clogged toilets and drains, under or over toilet paper arguments and the dreaded toilet seat lid. By this time, you've probably already smelled each other at your worst and the first time you farted in front of each other should have be written about in a romance novel. That won't stop you from shocking one another with your bathroom rituals and idiosyncrasies. I’m 90% sure my longest relationship ended because of incompatible bathroom habits. We were together for 3 years… I’m ok.
In order to avoid my fate, avoid those issues with TUSHY! TUSHY limits your use of toilet paper so arguments about who clogged the toilet with wads of toilet paper and mounds of brown can be completely avoided. You’ll both benefit from a thorough and refreshing post-poop clean. And you know what they say, when two clean butt start rockin’, don’t come-a-knockin’. They say that right? I’ve heard that before.
In a dream scenario, you and your partner will move in together with ease. All of your belongings will fit seamlessly into your space like a two piece jigsaw puzzle designed by IKEA and motha Martha Stewart herself. Your libidos will be forever synced to have sex at 7 a.m. and again right before night-night time and all meals will be prepared by the apartment itself. Your futuristic robot home will cook two different 5 course meals to appease both of your eclectic and sophisticated flavor palates.
Now wake-up because that will never happen. Set realistic expectations for your partner and for yourself. Before moving in together, let one another know what your personal day to day looks like and how you anticipate they will fit into it. Separately, it is easy to block off a chunk of designated time for one another but when you are living together, you will be blocking off chunks of time for yourself. Do you expect to eat dinner together every night? Does one of you work from home while the other works a 9 to 5? What does that mean for your sleep and bumpin' uglies? These are all things to consider before joining forces with your bae.
Compromise... within Reason.
You have a collection of colorful wigs displayed prominently on a wall in your current apartment. It’s a point of pride and you’ve considered opening it up as an art installation and charging a $20 entrance fee. It’s THAT beautiful. Your significant other can’t stand it. So what happens to your prized wig wall when you move to your new place? Will your wigs have a home or will they give way to a wall mounted 50” Sony flatscreen?!
Breathe. It will all be alright. You and your partner know each other well (hopefully). Otherwise you wouldn’t be moving in together (again...hopefully). So, they know what’s important to you and you know what’s important to them. Like their library of 80s horror films on VHS. You are sharing a space together so it has to be a place that feels like home for both of you. If you can let go, let go and they can do the same.
Discussing finances makes a lot of people want to go run and hide underneath the blanket of their parent’s good credit. During the early stages of dating, money is never an object. Sure, let’s go to Per Se and drop a grand on our 5 date. No biggie. We like for the people that we’re dating to think that we are fiscally comfortable even when we’re not. Conversely, some try to hide just how filthy stinking rich they are for fear of being intimidating to their boyf or girlf. Trust me, they’ve already noticed your Amex Black Card.
When you decide to live together, you HAVE to talk about money. You should probably do that while you looking for a place. Being up front about income, credit and budgets will make your lives easier and help you avoid even more awkward conversations later on in life. If you are not good with money, it’s best to let your partner know before you spend $5k on an aboveground indoor pool.
Lastly, remember you’re in this together. You’ve found your person and they are what really makes your home feel like home.