The Butt of The Joke: Butt News From Around the Globe
17 Aug, 2017
Fresh off the Tushy press desk this week we have a couple of fantASStic stories for you. Here at Tushy were committed to bringing you the latest poo news from around the globe. From flaming piles of feces to a big booty health update, here’s the latest:
A D(o)ovine Comedy
Yesterday was National Tell A Joke Day and what better way to celebrate than with a good old fashioned (and kind of inspirational) butt joke? Here goes nothing:
Funny Butt Jokes
- What did one butt cheek say to the other? Together, we can stop this sh*t.
- Farts are like children. I’m proud of mine and disgusted by yours.
- Poop Jokes aren’t my favorite kind of jokes but they’re a solid number 2.
- Did you hear about the movie Constipation? It never came out.
- Did you hear about the sequel, Diarrhea? It leaked so they had to release it early.
- The lead actor definitely Stool the show.
- What do you get when you cross a bulldog and a Shih Tzu? Bullshit!
- Did you hear that diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in the genes.
- What did the maxi pad say to the fart? You are the wind beneath my wings.
- Don’t Fart in the Apple Store, because they don’t have any Windows.
- Is buttcheeks one word? Or should I spread em?
- Why do ducks have feathers? To cover their butt-quack.
- I only trust people who like big butts… They cannot lie.
... You’re welcome :)
Dang That's Some Powerful Shit
A flaming pile of feces is never a welcome sight or scent, but a Kenyan company has found a way to maximize the power of burning human waste. They take excess fecal waste from residents in Nakuru and transform it into a usable fuel source for cooking and heating. Yes, your poop can be treated and turned into a form of charcoal you can cook with! The company, Sanivation, gathers fecal sludge (yum) which is then sun-dried for two to three weeks like big raisin turds, heated, and mixed with sawdust and molasses to rid it of all the crap that makes crap… well crap. With the high cost of fuel, poop may become a viable energy source in the near future. Who’d eat shish kebabs from this BBQ?
I hope It Goes Straight to the Ass
Researchers from the University of Tubingen in Germany suggest that men and women with bigger booties are less prone to heart attacks, strokes and diabetes. The study showed that when fat is stored in the lower half of the body it doesn't travel to vital organs like the heart. So not only does it provide more cushion, your derriere can save your life. Maybe the next time you take that extra donut Joanne brought in for the office, don’t be too hard on yourself. You’ll want it to go straight to you ass. And since those cheeks are keeping you healthy, why not return the favor. Make sure you’re keeping your caboose clean and doody free with TUSHY affordable bidet attachment.