Posterior Digest: 2020 Round-up
12 Jan, 2021
We’ve just closed out 2020, which was truly a sh*t show. The past 10 months are a complete blur, and the vibe can best be described as “Netflix and unchill”.
This fall, we kicked off a monthly round up of poop-related news that happened the previous month. For the final digest of the year, we’re piling up the craziest poop tales of 2020! Here are the BM highs (and a couple not-so-highs) of a year we hope to soon forget:
Extra Extra! Poo-pocalypse!
If one 2020 poo story deserves to be front page above the fold, it’s gotta be the infamous toilet paper shortage that kicked off in March.
As Americans prepared for their first 2-week lockdowns, there was a run on TP so intense it bordered on a poo-pocalypse! The shelves were emptier than our 2020 social calendars.
The TP shortages were wholly unnecessary for 2 reasons: first off, we actually always had plenty of toilet paper to start with. The shortage was because supermarkets only carry about two weeks worth of supplies at once. So when everyone went to buy a fortnight’s worth of ass tissue all at once… well, it caused supply lines to get constipated. They were very backed up.
TP supplies were just about the only pandemic thing that returned to normal by August, and supplies have stayed strong through the year.
Oh, and reason number deuce that we never needed to hoard TP? Bidets!
Deuce News Ticker
Honestly, poop couldn’t stay out of the news this year! There are a dozen stories that deserve a BMention.
There was the time a judge declared that Amber Heard didn’t sh*t in Johnny Depp’s bed. And the time Tom Brady told his Buccaneer centers how to handle swamp ass -- his method involves a towel and an assload of talcum powder.
Perhaps most importantly, scientists used wastewater to test COVID levels world wide.
TUSHY’s 2020 Rearview
We have to hype ourselves for a quick moment. TUSHY actually had a few newsworthy moments in this batsh*t year.
First off: when many Americans experienced the aforementioned toilet tissue stock shock, they discovered bidets. This resulted in TUSHY’s first-ever $1 million day of sales in March. We were surprised too!
In April, we launched TUSHY Ottoman, which helps you perfect your pooping position. Come July, we made a splash in the sports world by bidding on the naming rights for the Buffalo Bills’ stadium. We lost the bid, but we still hope to have our hands in the first-ever Toilet Bowl (date to be deuc-ided).
The final big TUSHY news of 2020 dropped in August. We’re talking BUTT-CON! We kicked off this annual celebration of all things ass in 2019. This year we dropped the DEUCE on YouTube with a feature-length event that’s lowkey worth a re-watch if you’ve already finished Bridgerton.
Even in the midst of total chaos, this has truly been a banner year for TUSHY. We couldn’t doo doo what we do without our amazing community of real pooping humans. Thanks for being besties!
We’re more than ready to flush this poopy year, even though it had its moments.
It’s good to commemorate 2020’s passing, if only to help us process all the craziness we’re leaving behind. So here’s one last toast to the year we’ll never forget (but have lowkey already blacked out of our memory). To 2020! Smell you later!