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Do Girls Poop? – The Answer May (Not) Surprise You

24 Sep, 2020

Woman sitting on the toilet.

There are 2 types of people in this world. Those who wonder why we would write this article, and those who just Googled “do girls poop”. Certainly, the former outnumbers the latter. But TUSHY honors the 2,300 souls who bravely approached Google this month with a curious heart and a simple question: Do girls poop? Sure, the answer may seem obvious. But is it? Stay with us.

A men’s bathroom is chaos. Tiles are broken, there’s a sink that’s always running. Some men’s rooms just have troughs that all the men piss in together. You look at this bathroom culture and instinctively you know, of course men poop.

But a women’s bathroom is a whole different world. A world of floral scented sprays and wicker baskets full of tampons. It’s a world of order. A gaggle of girls go to this bathroom together, and they come back looking (and smelling!) fresher and cuter than when they left. How? Certainly they’re not cavorting to go poop together. Why would they do that? It makes no sense!

So to the curious and innocent Googlers who asked “do girls poop”, we’re happy to say — 

the answer to your question is: no.

Girls don’t poop.

They sh*t.

Jk jk jk. They poop! Of course they poop. And they sh*t.

So if you’re ready for more hot truth, keep on reading. We’re answering all the questions you were too afraid to ask anyone but Alexa. (Note: Alexa is the only girl who does not poop.)

How Many Times a Day Do Girls Poop?

Let’s take this question together. Multiple choice challenge, go! How often do girls poop?

A) Never
B) As often as you check your phone
C) Impossible to say, their poop is a puff of baby powder, so there’s no way to count
D) None of the above, bb

    Ya it’s D! Girls are normal pooping humans. The average human body poops about once per day. If you’re pooping in the range of once a day to once every three days, your tract is right on track.

    What Hole Do Girls Poop From?

    So actually girls' bodies are like smooth plastic. Flat front, flat back, 0 holes. Wait, sorry, we’re thinking of a Barbie. 

    Human women have an anus in the back. There’s a pee hole, too, but it’s… very similar in size to all pee holes? The pee hole isn’t big enough for poop. And then their anus is… well it’s kind of exactly like yours. Cis women have a vagina in front, but that is not connected to the pooping mechanics. And while we’re here dispelling rumors, we’ll quickly mention the vagina only has teeth in movies. Is this article helping?

    Do Hot Girls Poop?

    This is a good place to remember: girls are beautiful and hot. They’re sexy. But pooping is not sexy. If girls are sexy, and pooping is not sexy, how could hot girls poop?

    But let’s dig a little further. These hot girls. Do they eat? Do their bodies convert that food into energy? Where does the waste go? Unless your crush has old hamburgers where her lungs are supposed to be, that food went somewhere. It went out your crush’s butt hole. Your crush’s cute little ass poops.

    Everybody poops. Rihanna. Emilia Clarke. Selena Gomez. Margot Robbie. Even fictional characters like Hermione and God (a woman). They all drop their kids off at the pool. That’s just the way the milkshake melts.

    Why Do Girls Poop More On Their Period?

    OK! This is a nuanced question that concedes that girls do poop. We stan!

    There are actually a lot of reasons why the moon cycle changes up pooping patterns. Also worth mentioning that some men have periods, and they also poop more when Aunt Flo visits

    So what’s moving the mud during menstruation? Honestly, a lot! The body releases hormones like progesterone and prostaglandins, which stimulates muscle contractions that help the body shed the uterine lining. These period hormones are released in the bowel area and can cause muscle contractions in the intestines, too. This causes more frequent ass downloads. They also make the body worse at absorbing water, which can make poop softer and cause diarrhea. Remember, they’re also bleeding this whole time. It’s just as fun as it sounds! Meanwhile, many people who menstruate change their eating habits during their period. This can cause extra poop (or less!).

    Can you imagine that these sorts of changes increase stress and anxiety? They do! Stress can further shift the dial on your poop stats, causing diarrhea or constipation. Always an adventure!

    Do Girls Poop As Much As Guys?

    Ok, fair question. Men obviously poop a lot. Have you seen men lifting weights? The grunting? These people obviously poop on the reg. So do girls poop as much as guys? Allow us to answer your question with another question. Does a girl dog poop less than a boy dog? Do male babies poop less than little baby girls? No, right? No, they poop about the same amount.

    We’ll concede there are some differences in how cis men and cis women poop. Women have wider pelvises than men, and more internal organs in the area, with the uterus and ovaries. This means the colon has to work around all that internal furniture. Women’s colons hang lower than men’s and are on average about 10 cm longer. The last important difference is that men also have more rigid abdominal walls, which helps to push food through the GI tract. All those differences mean that poop moves through men with a little more ease and it takes a little less time. This is why women are more prone to bloating. Women really do get paid less for more work!

    Do Girls Fart or Poop?

    This question feels like it’s benefitted from the scientific method. Observation. The asker has never seen a girl poop. It’s a private event. But farting. They think that maybe a girl has farted near them. How could they know for sure? Perhaps the girl who farted was embarrassed. Perhaps she lied. Perhaps the girl even said “girls don’t fart. You’re the one who farted.” It was just the 2 of them on the elevator. So now the boy is asking himself… is this true? Do girls fart, or did I just fart?

    We weren’t there in that elevator. There’s no way for us to know who among you farted. But that girl lied. Girls do fart. They do. And they poop.

    Since “do girls fart” is anchored in scientific observation, let us suggest: you don’t have to take our word for any of this. The internet is a trove of data. Consider watching the food poisoning scene in Bridesmaids. Or 2 Girls 1 Cup. You can observe and draw your own conclusions.

    Do Girls Poop In Public?

    What would you do if you needed to poop and you were not at home? You would find a place to poop, right? This is crazy but true: women are the same. When nature calls, women poop at school, at work, even in gas station bathrooms. Especially after cold brew. It’s as simple as that.

    Final Thoughts

    A simple question, “do girls poop” has launched a journey of the mind. A scientific inquiry. And even, dare we say, a friendship? Yes. We’ve laughed, we’ve learned. We’ve thought a lot about girls laying brick. We’ve explored some of life’s great questions, like how many times a day do girls poop and what hole do girls poop from. And we’ve dared to offer a definitive answer: the normal amount.

    We’ve talked so much about girls dumping stumps that we haven’t even tackled the best way to keep the tush tidy. It's TUSHY. Allow your TUSHY to tame your log cutter. Entrust your bum with TUSHY towels or bamboo TP. And never be afraid to ask Team TUSHY what’s up with anyone’s butt. We’ve got your curious brain’s back.

    Do you have questions for the TUSHY team? You can check out our FAQs, email us at hello@hellotushy.com or just fill out the form below!