[Survey] How Long Should You Date Before You Defecate?
17 Dec, 2020
Nope, those aren’t butterflies in your stomach.
Perhaps it’s your first date or the beginning stages of a relationship. Or perhaps you and your partner are out of the honeymoon phase but not quite in the honey-what-did-you-just-do-in-there phase.
Either way, the second thought on your mind (we all know what your first thought is, perv) is, how long should you wait before launching a butt shuttle at your partner's house or vice versa?
We were curious what people like you would say if we asked the following questions:
- How long until you are comfortable pooping at your partner's house?
- How long should your partner wait before pooping at your house?
- Would you feel comfortable going to the bathroom (#1 and/or #2) in front of your partner?
We used SurveyMonkey to uncover the answers from 340 of your previous relationships (kidding) to reveal some interesting takeaways:
Men Are 2x More Likely to Poop on the First Date
That’s right, men are DTP.
In the first and second questions asking how long you or your partner should wait to poop, men responded 22% and 30% in favor of the first date, respectively. Compare this to the 11% and 13% of women who are comfortable with them or their partner pooping on the first date.
Men (41%) are also more comfortable than women (35%) when pooping at their partners house in the first one to three months of a relationship.
Women are more likely to hold it in for longer. In fact, 54% of women reported waiting more than 4 months before being comfortable with pooping at their partners place.
Poop Shame is Real
One interesting takeaway from this survey is that people are less comfortable with pooping early in a relationship than they are with their partners pooping.
When asked how long until you are comfortable pooping at a partners house, 53% of people responded anywhere within the first three months. Alternatively, when asked how long your partner should wait to poop at their house, 63% of people said within the first three months.
The Older We Get the Less Comfortable We Are With Our Partners Shit
Maybe it’s wisdom, maybe it’s true, if you want a lasting relationship, hold off on the poo.
Nearly 20% of those 45-years-old or older believe one should wait a year or more before dropping deuces at their partner’s porcelain palace. While 45-60 year olds are more receptive (14%) to their partner pooping within that first year, 20% of people over the age of 60 believe their partner should wait more than a year before blowing up their bathroom.
Alternatively, only 2.4% of people between the ages of 18-29 report waiting a year or more before being comfortable pooping at a partners house.
79% of Americans Agree You Should NOT Poop on the First Date
That’s right. This means that 1 out of every 5 Americans has no issues sitting on your throne while you’re in the next room on your phone. Thanks to statistics, this means your next four first dates won’t foul up your bathroom, which is nice.
One thing we wanted to know is how comfortable Americans are with going to the bathroom in front of their partners – hopefully not on the first date – but at any point in the relationship.
22% of People Would Poop in Front of Their Partner
This aligns frighteningly well with those that think it’s fine to poop at someone’s house on the first date. Let that be a red, nay, brown flag – you’ve been warned.
A more reasonable 58% of people would be comfortable peeing in front of their partner, but 34% of you like to keep a little mystery in your relationships, reporting never being comfortable going to the bathroom in front of a partner.
Of those that responded yes to going #2 in front of their boo, 61% of them were men and 39% were women. Apparently gender only slightly influences the sacred practice of privacy on the privy. How does age impact one’s willingness to poop in front of their significant other? It really doesn’t, unless you’re dating a senior.
Respondents who claimed freedom from shame when pooping in front of their partner were pretty evenly split across demographics, with the exception of seniors 60-years-old or older. 30% of poopy partners were 18-24, 27% 30-44, 30% 45-60, but only 13% were 60+.
Call it old fashioned, or senility, but we have to respect our elders on this one – close the door before you pee or something more.