From endless toilet paper usage that feels like you’re wiping a brown Sharpie to sewers clogged by actual islands of wet wipes, we’ve been sold some mistruths about butt cleaning. We’re here to show you how to clean your butt the right way and maintain a healthy and happy b-hole for life.
Anal Hygiene Tips
As a species, we’ve come up with many creative ways to take care of our buttholes… some of which are absolutely terrifying. Somehow we’ve settled on using toilet tissue as our main method of butt cleaning. And some of us have trouble keeping our chocolate starfish healthy doing that.
Whether it’s due to misguided parental teachings during potty training or instinct, the consequences can be, well…. irritating.
Poor anal hygiene can lead to something called perianal dermatitis.
This is a topical irritation that afflicts people who are wiping poorly, infrequently or a wee too rough.
One way to soothe your bum is to switch from scratchy and ineffective toilet paper to soothing and 2x cleaner bidet washing.
Another way to avoid butt rash is to stop using wet wipes, which have been linked to allergic reactions caused by methylisothiazolinone, a preservative used to inhibit bacterial growth while products are on store shelves.
Even all-natural wet wipes can cause irritation by disrupting the natural oil production around your butthole, leading to more severe problems down the line like anal fissures.
How to Properly Wipe Your Butt
There truly is no proper way to “wipe” your butt but if you must, make sure you’re doing it in a way that doesn’t harm the rest of your body. Here are our best tips for butt cleaning if you can’t breakup with TP:
- Wipe front to back, moving fecal matter away from your front parts. This keeps poop away from the vaginal canal and prevents urinary tract infections, which suck, to say the least.
- Wipe while sitting. Sitting while wiping keeps your perianal area open and more easily accessible for a proper clean.
- Don’t wipe too hard. Your bottom skin is sensitive, and intense wiping could cause microtears and irritation.
- Use unscented toilet paper or a wet washcloth. Unscented TP = fewer chemicals. And a wet cloth gives you the wet wipe feel without the butt-hurt - simply rinse the cloth in hot soapy water before tossing in the wash.
Poop Still There After Wiping?
Of course it is! We all know that the healthiest way to clean any part of your body is with water. Would you take a dry piece of paper and rub it around your body and call yourself clean? We would hope not.
The Greco-Romans (332 BCE–395 CE) knew this as they used a damp sponge affixed to a stick as a means to clean their bottoms. They almost had it right until they decided to reuse the same poop soaked sponges over and over again. Barf. So… what IS the best way to clean your butt after you poop?
Try Anal Douching
Anal or rectal douching may sound invasive, but it’s simply a good old fashioned butthole shower. A lot of people confuse anal douches with an enema, so let’s clear that up right here, right now:
Enema: Cleansing the bowels before a colonoscopy or in cases of major constipation.
Anal Douching: Rinsing the rectum with water or saline.
Generally, you can anal douche with the help of a bulb/douche kit purchased at a pharmacy or sex toy retailer. Simply fill the bulb with liquid, lie on your side with knees bent, insert it into your rectum and hold it for 10-30 seconds before releasing into your toilet. Repeat 2-3 times until your butt water runs clear! (Sorry for saying butt water.)
Generally, a good wash in the shower is all you need. If you have had soft or hard poops as of late that insist on leaving their mark, we have a great suggestion for a safe and easy cleanse multiple times a day…
Clean Your Butt with a Bidet
The bidet is hands-down the cleanest, healthiest and most hygienic way to clean your bum. A gentle stream of water thoroughly rinses any fecal matter without irritation. It’s actually quite soothing… especially after a spicy numero dos.
While bidets have been very popular in Europe and Asia, it has taken some time to gain traction in Western cultures due to the cost and plumbing barriers. That’s where the TUSHY bidet attachment comes in. It is quick and easy to install and very affordable.
Unlike most bidets that cost thousands of dollars, TUSHY costs less than $100. It easily attaches to any standard toilet in under 8 minutes.
While you’re at it, consider trying a pooping stool or simply placing your feet on the side of your bathroom bin. This simple adjustment puts your body in the perfect position to clean out your bowels more fully, meaning less brown left behind.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why Does My Butt Not Feel Clean After Wiping?
Wiping doesn’t clean your butt, it simply removes some poop matter while spreading the rest around. This can lead to infections like UTIs while aggravating conditions like hemorrhoids and anal fissures.
Is There a Wrong Way To Clean Your Butt?
Using scented toilet paper, irritating wet wipes, or wiping back to front not only smear poop particles around, they can cause infection.
Should You Clean The Inside Of Your Butt Every Time You Poop?
Nah, your rectum is pretty brilliant at keeping poop up high until you’re ready to #2. A good wash in the shower and bidet spray after pooping is generally all you need. But changes in diet/meds/stress can affect how completely you empty your bowels. It’s these exceptions that might send you into the arms of an anal douche.