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The Art of Bottoming with Dr. Evan Goldstein

Anal sex tends to be daunting to people unfamiliar with the act.  Whether this apprehension stems from a bad first experience or the (steadily decreasing) stigma attached to the anus as an erogenous zone, the act is often looked at as taboo – but I am here to raise the bottom to the top of everyone’s mind!  I invite you to re-ass-ess what the ass has to offer as I share with you tips for the path to anal enlightenment (everyone’s true third eye).
 
First things first: proper lubrication.  The most important thing to know is that there is no such thing as too much lube (the real stuff — no spit!). Water-based or toy-safe lubricants are best during dilating preparation, whereas silicone lube is my best recommendation during prolonged anal intimacy. The anus is not self-lubricating (like a vagina is), so it is important to have an abundance of lube to prevent discomfort and anal tears, called fissures. It’s hard to find any lube that beats the slickness and endurance of silicone and you want lots of both, especially if it’s your first experience.  Don’t forget to use a condom to prevent STIs — silicone and water-based lubes are both safe with latex condoms.
As with any unfamiliar act, the key to success is practice, practice, practice, and lots of patience.  What most people don’t know is that this applies to conquering the bum as well. With the butt always in contraction mode for obvious reasons, practicing deliberate muscle relaxation is key for getting your hole ready to receive. We recommend investing in an anal training kit with three gradually sized dilators. Start using the smallest of the three and try to consciously relax to accommodate and then slowly remove — all in one continuous motion. Re-lubricate and insert again with a similar technique of slowly in, meeting resistance, and then slowly pulling out. You should stick with each size for about a week before graduating to the next size up. Once you’ve gotten to the point where you can accept all three sizes with ease, give yourself a pat on the butt. You’re ready for the real thing.
Now that you’ve mastered proper dilation – it’s game time.  We recommend, especially during your first cock attempt, to use the aforementioned anal dilators directly prior or actually during foreplay with your partner(s). The best initial position is the ‘bottom’ on top so that the receiver is in complete control of speed and depth. Once the bottom feels themselves opening up and there’s no longer any discomfort, feel free to switch things up — change positions, increase the depth, and adjust the speed. Everyone’s internal map, if you will, is different, so you might find certain positions work better than others, based on the length, girth, and curvature of your partner’s penis and the overall position of the bottom’s pelvis. Feel free to experiment and don’t be afraid to let your partner know what works and what doesn’t. As with any good relationship, the key to healthy anal is communication!
 
Like many other exciting physical activities, an injury is inevitable.  If anal tearing occurs, cease bottoming, drink lots of liquids, perform Epsom salt baths, and take healthy doses of stool softeners to ease any discomfort during toilet time.  With or without injury, we also recommend avoiding wiping or minimize as much as one can the use of toilet tissue. And for sure stay away from baby wipes, not only after anal intercourse but every day, even though they may seem like a super convenient way to clean up.  An excellent alternative is investing in a bidet, like TUSHY, for both pre- and post-pleasure. The bidet in and of itself has so many positive ramifications for both you and the community at large—less irritation from decreasing the use of toilet paper, less toilet paper meaning you are an environmentalist, and lastly, it truly is an anal dream with the true cleanliness that most desire. Lastly, contrary to common belief, heavy douching is not necessary when you have a high fiber diet and regular bowel movements. Some light irrigation, such as with a bulb, followed by a TUSHY cleanse will do the trick, leaving you with a butt literally good enough to eat.
 
Practice, preparation, proper lube and positioning, and healthy cleanup are all ways to ensure that your anal experience is nothing short of fantASStic.  For commonly asked questions, make sure to check out my FAQ here and visit us on Instagram: @bespokesurgical to keep up to date with the latest and greatest tips for your butt.

Dr. Evan Goldstein is the Founder and CEO of Bespoke Surgical, the leading private practice specializing in an elite standard of sexual health and wellness care for the modern gay male. As the preeminent leader in the field and with offices in both New York and Beverly Hills, Dr. Goldstein offers concierge-style medical and surgical expertise to the gay community and is dedicated to not only bringing the important issues surrounding gay sexual health to the forefront but also eliminating stigmas around gay sexuality.

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