There are no two snowflakes that are alike. Much like snowflakes, our buttholes are just as unique and special. So it is only natural for us to all poop a little bit differently. Here are a few of the most common types of poopers.
If you work in an office or in a school you’ve most likely come across a Scatty Cathy. Scatty Cathy’s LOVE talking while they’re on the toilet. While they dump a load into the toilet, they’ll happily dump a load into your ear about how traditional their nephew’s bar mitzvah was. Or how their gardener’s sister was actually diagnosed with gout last summer. Or that this was the first time they’ve pooped in 3 weeks. A Scatty Cathy just needs to talk. It help them get things moving down there.
The Discreet Secreter
Like a thief in the night, the discreet pooper sneaks in and out of the bathroom as quiet as a wee little mouse fart. You know this person. The one who tucks their feet further into the stall so no one can tell they’re in there. The one who muffles their wet farts with a subtle cough. They would rather the world believe that they didn’t poop at all but… everybody poops and we can smell it on them.
The Big POOgasm
Are they pooping or pleasuring themselves? Now I love a good dookie drop sesh but these crappers make pooping sound like the best sex in the world. They’ll make you blush with all the ooo-ing and ahh-ing and “I’M ALMOST THERE’S”. They’re comfortable expressing the joys of poos no matter how uncomfortable it makes you feel.
The Loo Lounger
Decked out in a robe, slippers and an ascot, this special type of pooper considers the toilet to be their throne from whence they address all their subjects. Their bathroom serves as a second living room where they can relax on the pot and maybe smoke some pot, watch some TV, read an entire book series and give themselves a mani pedi. The p(o)ossibilities are endless for this chill master who will probably bring their morning coffee, a hot pocket and an iPad in the bathroom so they never have to leave.
Not to be confused with the Lounger, the multi-tasker does business when they do their business. They schedule appointments, send reports, and most have probably fired someone while taking a dump. This person has no time to spare, so they are going to maximize their time when they’ve got to pinch off a loaf.
No matter what type of pooper you are, you will love the clean refreshing post-poo clean feeling of TUSHY. TUSHY will wash away any and all residoo-doo from your derriere leaving you with the cleanest bootyhole around.
What type of pooper are you?