What do Poop and October have in common? First thing that comes to mind is the timeless flaming poop on the doorstep prank. Or dookie-related Halloween costumes. But believe it or not, each passing month brings a hot batch of news about poop. 

So TUSHY is launching our inaugural round up of poop-related sh*t that happened last month. Here’s all the popping poo news that’s fit to print!

Washington Post: Scientists Test Poop Water To Track COVID Worldwide

Forget gossiping over a fence. If you really want to know what’s going on in your neighbor’s house, you should test their wastewater! Your community’s sewage holds all sorts of little secrets about the local population. Fortunately, scientists are less concerned about Nextdoor clout than they are about tracking what pathogens and drugs are trending locally. This is now especially true about COVID. From Israel to Canada to Hong Kong and across the U.S., scientists are analyzing the fecal matter in sewage water to understand and predict the prevalence of Covid in an area.

Ongoing monitoring has detected outbreaks in Finland and Ottowa, where scientists were able to warn local populations of the accelerating spread of the virus. Meanwhile, Italian scientists have used backtesting of wastewater to discover that COVID first appeared in Milan in December 2019, nearly two weeks before China reported the virus in Wuhan. Colleges are using the same method to monitor coronavirus on campus. 

Refinery29: Bathroom Break

This leading women’s media mag is low-key obsessed with talking sh*t. Their latest series takes on all things women and poop. Evidently, women are less inclined to talk openly about their number 2s. Studies have even found women underreport digestive issues, even more as they mature. So Refinery29 is busting open the stall to discuss everything from IBS to Crohn’s, to living with a colostomy bag. If you want a women-forward take on Period Poo and the hottest new wellness trend (fiber!), you must click. 

Science: Why Some Babies Need To Eat Just A Little Bit of Mom’s Poop

There’s good bacteria, like we have in our guts, and bad bacteria, like -- we assume -- the kind you’d find on a subway platform. The healthy bacteria in our bodies is key to our digestive and immune systems. Newborn babies are blank slate bacterially, and they pick up healthy bacteria during the birthing process. Well, some of them do. 

Babies born vaginally pick up microbes from their mothers genital area. C-section babies only get bacteria from their mom’s skin. Within just a few hours, the differences between these two types of birth create vast differences in their microbiomes. The results? Vaginal birth babies have healthier gut bacteria, and fewer immune-related disorders later in life. So scientists are trying to get healthy bacteria into C-section babies, by adding a small amount of mom’s poop to their bottles. 

Says one of the leading scientists, “There’s a reason the orifice for having babies is next to the anal orifice, in all vertebrates... It’s a clear message from nature telling us, ‘We want the newborns to be exposed to feces.’” The studies are promising and ongoing, so they should not be replicated at home.

MIchigan Live: Man Poops In Box and Returns Box To Shelf At Michigan Superstore

A Michigan man felt the urge to purge in a local Meijer’s superstore this month. Rather than seeking the facilities, the man found an empty box, “packed” it, sealed it, and put it right back on the shelf. While purchasing this box would have been a real “hot” deal, it looks like police got involved before another customer could purchase the poo. 

Though security cameras successfully captured that errant pooper, Meijer’s has requested that the footage be wiped from the web. Darn! We’d love to know what aisle to avoid come Brown--um, we mean Black -- Friday.

NY Post: Man Caught Smuggling Gold In His Butthole

Indian airport authorities recently mined nearly 2 pounds of gold from a passenger’s … cave. Apparently the traveller was walking wonky, which drew attention from customs officials. The man had been trying to avoid an 18% custom taxes on his *nuggets*, later valued at $60,000. So he smuggled his goodies in his landing zone. The entire 2 pounds of bullion was seized. But did they check his pee hole?

The Guardian: Hear Ye, Don’t Smear Ye! Scientists Scrutinize Medieval Poop 

Scientists are elbows deep in 500-year-old poop, studying gut health of the past to guide our understanding of how healthy guts should look today. A research paper released this month focuses on two cesspits, one in Jerusalem and the other in Latvia, from the 14th and 15th century. The study of material from these latrines helps scientists understand the functioning of an earlier culture’s microbiome -- including what bacterias, viruses, fungus and parasites lived in olden people. The Medieval microbiome is now confirmed to be distinct from the modern one, and also distinct from the hunter-gatherer microbiome. By understanding what healthy guts looked like before fast food, antibiotic use and the other trappings of industrialism, we may be able to learn more about modern diseases like inflammatory bowel disease and obesity. 

Wrapping Up

Can you believe this is just one month’s worth of butt news highlights? Come back next month to stay current on the freshest, hottest poo news from TUSHY. And if you’re reading this on the toilet, consider making yourself comfortable with a TUSHY Ottoman.