Let’s start with a quick word association game. We’ll say a phrase, you observe whatever comes to mind. Ready? Public restrooms.
What did you think of? Allow us to take a guess: nothing good, right? Our mind quickly populates with long lines, TP on the floor, Jackson Pollock-style pee splatters on toilet seats, and stanky-ass port-a-potties.
And if finding a damaged bathroom isn’t bad enough, well… there’s always the unfortunate experience of leaving a toilet worse than you found it. Yes, sometimes you are the one dealing damage to the public loo. And as you leave, you may have to walk right by the next hapless public pooper, who is about to come nose to nostril with your worst smells.
Alas, after a year living and working steps away from our private potties, we’re back to public johns. TUSHY is helping you re-enter poo-lite society with a primer on pooping away from home.
Why Are You Uncomfy Pooping in Public?
Pooping away from home is no one’s favorite hobby. Best case scenario, you find a lovely-smelling public loo equipped with ample TP and Febreze. But we don’t often encounter the best case crap scenario when pooping in public. It’s uncomfortable to share our private smells and sounds with other people. And there’s the risk of clogging the Starbucks john, or finding yourself pudding-assed without any toilet paper in reach.
Some folks are so paralyzed by public pooping that it becomes pathological. People afflicted with “shy bowels” or parcopresis are so nerve-riddled over their away-from-home poos that it impacts their life -- with impacted bowels. They avoid public places and hold their poops too long, which can cause hemorroids or anal fissures. What’s a shy pooper to do? Read on!
Tips to Make Pooping in Public More Peaceful
If you’re afflicted by public pooping nerves, no problem! Here are some quick tips to help make public pooping a pleasure:
1. Prevent The Plop
If you’re embarrassed of the poo plopping sound, you have two options. First, you can mask the drop plop by adding a soundtrack. A running faucet creates white noise that masks that plop. Or if you’re in a person’s home, you can run the fan. Your second option: soften the sound. Lining the bowl with toilet paper will diminish the impact of your poo. Thus, less sound from the doo doo dropping. Little victories!
2. Attack The Smell
Now that sound is squelched, let’s tackle the nostril offender: your poopy smell. Poo-pourri and other travel-friendly toilet fresheners will eliminate odor. If you don’t want to carry liquid or sprays, you can always use a match. Lighting a match helps zap the smell, and leaves behind the more neutral scent of sulfur. A double flush can also do you favors. Flushing as soon as the poop drops will give less time for the smell to travel. Now, who does #2 work for? You, baby!
3. Know Your Schedge
Our bodies are creatures of habit. For example, if we down a double espresso, it won’t be long before we, erm, drop some potatoes in the crock pot. Having a good sense of the restroom options available to you around your pooping time is a favor to yourself. On a normal day, you can pretty much avoid leaving yourself stranded without even a Starbucks avail.
4. Im-poo-ve Your Mental Game
Remember that everyone poops. If you’re bombing butt burritos at your friend’s home, well, they do the same thing. The other people at your gym? They poop. Presidents and kings and pop stars all bomb the bowl. As long as you do your best to be a good citizen of the public bathroom, there’s nothing to be embarrassed of.
5. Travel with a Portable Bidet
Talk about traveling with flair! A TUSHY Travel will eliminate any “is there toilet paper” and “I hate pooping without a bidet” drama. This portable bidet directs a concentrated stream of water at your chocolate starfish, helping to keep your keister clean on the go.