Congratulations to TUSHY Class of 2020!

22 Jun, 2020

Friends, family, fellow poopers, and TUSHY Class of 2020, it is an honor to be delivering this commencement address to you from my toilet. This year has been one of hardship, unexpected setbacks, and an insane toilet paper shortage. And to think, we are only halfway through the year. But you did not let those major life changes get your panties in a bunch. No, you grabbed life by the cheeks and said “your ass is grass”! You were determined to have the cleanest butt around. So today, we honor and commend you for all of your hard work in graduating to TUSHY with honors. Suma Bum Laude.

Merriam-Webster defines “butthole” as a person’s anus. Sure, it expels excrementTUSHY Commencement but your butthole is so much more than that. Your butthole is a unique part of you that can withstand a hot sauce challenge on Taco Tuesday. Your butthole has clinched and suppressed many an embarrassing fart during your Zoom presentation. Your butthole has endured quarantine snack after quarantine snack while still staying cute. And yes, has there been some rumps along the way? Of course. But you and your butthole endured because you and your butthole graduated from toilet paper to TUSHY. 

By switching to TUSHY, not only did you say YES to your butthole, but you said YES to your pockets. Over the course of a year, the average family spends over $500 on toilet paper. When you received your TUSHY degree, you reduced your toilet paper usage by 80%. What an accomplishment. 

But your achievements don’t end there. Americans use 36.5 billion rolls of toilet paper every year, representing the pulping of close to 15 million trees. 15 million trees used for the sole purpose of wiping butt cracks and being flushed down the toilet. But not you TUSHY Class of 2020. You’ve made it your purpose to reduce your carbon butt-print and waste. Your choice to wash instead of wipe was the best choice you could have made for your future and the future of this planet. 

Congratulations for making it to this next chapter in your clean booty life. We are so excited to see how your butt will take what you’ve learned and turn it into real change for your health and for the planet. Without further a-doo… I present the TUSHY Class of 2020:

Real Pooping Human, Wayne T. - Now that TP is returning to the store shelves we have found we actually prefer the jet stream from Tushy and use only a fraction of the paper. 

Real Pooping Human, Ben K. - I purchased this to save toilet paper. But I really like it and will continue to use it after the crisis is over. It leaves you cleaner. 

Real Pooping Human, Caroline D. - Best quarantine purchase yet and so easy to install! -

Real Pooping Human, Andrew S. -I actually hold my business until I can get home to use my Tushy! 

Real Pooping Human, Leonard S.- Spanking clean tushies running around OUR house! 

Real Pooping Human, Lacey B. - Our butts are SO CLEAN. Like, unbelievably so. We’re converts for life. 

Real Pooping Human, Larry M.  -It’s amazing how hygienically refreshing the Tushy is. Every home should have one, or more! 

Real Pooping Human, Gary W. - Like upgrading your seat from Coach to First Class. 

Real Pooping Human, David M. - Honestly, I’ve been waiting my whole life for this thing. Love it!!! 

Real Pooping Human, Matthew T. -Officially TUSHY obsessed! 

Real Pooping Human, Grant T. - It makes my b hole feel zesty. I like that. 

Real Pooping Human, Lindsey M. - My butt has not been this clean since I came out the womb. Period. 

Real Pooping Human, Richard K - Life changing event for this 53-year-old Tushy. 

Real Pooping Human, Jose C. - Glad to get rid of the TP and just use water. Feeling "so fresh and so clean, clean!!" No more TP in the house. 

Real Pooping Human, Jana M. - Love the Tushy. So nice to feel shower-fresh after every trip to the loo!

Real Pooping Human, Dominick P. - Without question this is a must-have product for any human being. If you don’t have a Tushy, get one immediately. 

Real Pooping Human, Courtney J.- Believe the hype. My ass has literally never been happier. Rad customer service. I want one on every porcelain throne in the house now.

Real Pooping Human, Jesse J. - Don't just "Wash Your Hands" -- Wash Your Butt too!!!

Real Pooping Human, Gina F. - Best purchase ever. Definitely saved my butt during Covid-19 and my budget. I love it! 



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